Herman, You Played Yourself

Republican Herman Cain and his wife Gloria.

Dear Herman,
I'm sorry to see that you are dropping out of the Republican presidential race. You have been a constant source of amusement and embarrassment. From your ridiculous comments about non-existent racism to that foolish 9-9-9 tax plan spoon fed to you by the Koch brothers, you have done nothing but jig since you came on the scene.

The first nails in your campaign coffin began when claims of sexual harassment by former female employees swelled from one to four. Of course, we know they were all lying and it was some kind of ill conceived plot to besmirch your impeccable character but if I were you, I wouldn't be settling lawsuits if I were innocent.

I guess those who witnessed your inappropriate comments and that tawdry story from that blonde who hired Gloria Allred didn't help your case either. Sadly, you were still as arrogant and cocksure as ever but that was a few weeks ago. Things have changed. Your credibility was further questioned when you  didn't even know what was going on in Libya or anything about foreign policy. You might be able to pull this off in a board meeting, but not in a serious interview. The liberal media couldn't even make a story like that up, seriously.

All those women could not have been lying and your memory wasn't that bad. You can't always blame the liberal media for your problems, what about accepting responsibility for your own inappropriate behavior. This ordeal is all a result of your own doing. Perhaps you never learned how to behave appropriately around women but either way, you are an embarrassment to yourself and your family.

And lastly, I don't know how you were expecting to keep your thirteen year friendship with Ginger White a secret and still believe you could be a serious candidate for president. *sigh* Mistresses and jump-offs have been known to derail many a promising political career and yours is no exception. For someone running such a high profile campaign with a such a big arrogant mouth, you should have expected this.

I'm not going to miss you, you were a token and validated the fact that if Republicans can support a candidate like you, a self-loathing black man who is as bigoted, intolerant and Islamophobic as the rest of them. Who's going to put a black face on this hate now that you are gone? You can't expect Mitt Romney, Rick Perry or Newt Gingrich to say the same stuff you said and be able to get away with it.

Just what are the Republicans going to do now? Who's going to assuage their concerns about being a party of racism and intolerence now that their black poster boy is gone? Guess they'll have to find another magic negro. So go back to Georgia and make amends with your wife and family. If I were your wife, I'd probably have all your shit out on the front lawn but she's probably a better woman than I. She's been married to you for over 30 years and probably knows all about you.

You have become yet another politician undone but his poor judgment, arrogance and indiscretion. First "hip hop" Michael Steele, and now you, the Republicans have lost yet another magic negro. Ann Coulter was wrong, Republican negros aren't any better than the rest of our Negros.

For everyone's sake Herman, please be quiet and go away. Maybe you'll get a job being a political analyst on Fox News, but I'd wait for all of this bad publicity to die down first.

All the Best,
Kimberly